A Song of Despair
by ncfan
Summary: Rangiku was running, and she wasn't sure why. She knew all too well what was waiting for her at the end of that long stretch of road, and she was afraid to find what had become of him, what was left of him. Spoilers for 404.


**Warning**: This contains spoilers for Chapter 404. Be prepared.

**Author's Note**: This is sort of Gin x Rangiku, though I've written it so you don't have to look at it that way if you don't want to.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Bleach.

* * *

_The memory of you emerges from the night around me.  
The river mingles its stubborn lament with the sea._

_Deserted like the dwarves at dawn.  
It is the hour of departure, oh deserted one!_

—_A Song of Despair _by Pablo Neruda

* * *

The rubble littered the ground, even in the densest alleyways that had not been touched by devastating battle, obscuring the path and making it near-impossible for her to navigate, wounded as she was.

She was running. Well, not exactly running as much as limping at a fast rate, stopping every couple of seconds to half-pass out on the ground, gasping for breath. After all, she had had a good portion of her abdomen ripped out just a short time ago, and she was pretty sure the healing done on her hadn't grown her ribs back all the way.

Rangiku was running, and for once, she knew exactly where. She just had to follow the sound of the explosions, and hear her heart chatter to her and her ears rush with water, to know where to go.

_Funny… It was always him running off without saying anything. Now, it's me._

It wasn't a good decision. Rangiku had no guarantee that she wouldn't be attacked. If anything, she had no guarantee that she wouldn't be killed, but somehow…

_I just want to see him again, one more time._

Bitterness and anger weren't good emotions to be holding on the skin on the verge of a reunion, but neither were pain or hurt. Rangiku had all four in spades, and was prepared to deal the cards to devastating effect.

In the dark nights, Rangiku would wonder about her old friend and wonder if he ever thought of her. She doubted it highly; Gin wasn't one to give much thought to those he left behind, and Rangiku had to admit it hurt her, if only to herself.

_He was always a creepy Shinigami, but he was _my_ creepy Shinigami._

He had been her childhood friend, the only one who had even thought to look after her in the normal days. The days when Rangiku needed looking after were long over, but the one thing Rangiku had always been able to count on in Gin was that the disinterest he affected concerning her well-being was false. Everything else about him might have been an illusion, but that, Rangiku knew, was the truth.

Every bit of strangeness in the other had become commonplace, until Rangiku considered Gin's quirks and strange mannerisms to be as ordinary as the sun in the sky, and Gin didn't so much as bat an eye to Rangiku's odd eating habits and lackadaisical attitude towards work. In the end, they were so used to each other that they barely had to breathe to tell the other's thoughts.

_You were my first friend._

That said, Rangiku wasn't about to let Gin go, even if he didn't want to be held on to; Rangiku would be damned if she allowed anyone she considered close to shatter in the darkness, even if they were already broken, taped back together and so obviously stitched that their strangeness shone through like the light of day.. Rangiku smirked bitterly as she ran towards the sound of shattering and live steel clashing; she was used to being one step behind Gin, always being left behind by Gin, and it wasn't going to hold up anymore.

_Run away, all you like. This time, I've caught up to you, and I'm not leaving until I have answers. No matter how much it hurts, though I feel like it's going to hurt me a lot more than it will you._

Rangiku was running, and she wasn't sure why. The Shinigami knew what awaited her at the end of that long stretch of road, that dark alley, and she wasn't sure she wanted to see what had become of her friend, companion, but somehow, Rangiku felt, knew that she had to see, see with her own eyes so she could confirm that what she had felt and known since Gin had defected with Aizen and Kaname from Soul Society was true.

She was running, and running towards a painful truth, if not oblivion in itself. Rangiku knew she might shatter under the weight of that truth, but if she did, it would be a good shatter, and she would not regret it. At least she would know the truth of her old friend, what had become of him, and maybe, just maybe, she would get some answers out of Gin.

As rubble fell in front of her, Rangiku knew she was getting close, and she stopped, trying to regain her breath and her resolve. She couldn't give up now, but she was feeling a small tendril of fear unfurl in her chest.

She started running again. Rangiku was a fool if she didn't admit she was afraid. Rangiku, like many, was always afraid of what lingered in the dark, staring out at them with shining eyes. She was afraid to find what Gin had possibly become since turning his back on Soul Society. She was afraid of what Gin had become when she wasn't looking, lingering in the dark for so long, and afraid of what that would do to her. Rangiku hadn't known she could be so afraid in her life.

Rangiku was afraid she'd meet Gin again and find a stranger, but even more afraid she'd meet him again after all that time and find him to be all too familiar.


End file.
